Quick Links
Calendar
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
Categories
Archives
XML/RSS Feed
Statistics
Total entries in this blog:
Total entries in this category:
Published On: Jan 27, 2005 08:32 PM
Total entries in this category:
Published On: Jan 27, 2005 08:32 PM
A co-worker of old...
I realized that, in the big picture, something
that was among the hardest times in my life has ended up one of the best thing
to happen to me...
There is something of an anniversary
coming up. No, it ain't some certain period of time that has passed since some
certain thing happened. It is, as it should be, a cognitive
anniversary.
I'm set to go on vacation again. Last time I went on vacation I had one of the best times I have ever had on vacation. The kids were awesome, my vacation-mates were incredibly generous and fun to be with. It really was the kind of vacation that makes you come home and wish you'd stayed away.
Last time I went on vacation I went because my boss's sister (who was an owner in the company, but not my boss) had rekindled her paranoid state to accuse me of stealing from the company. This accusation had come before and my boss (her brother) had done whatever looking into things he needed to do to realize that the accusations were ridiculous. They were those sorts of accusations that only someone totally out of the loop could even imagine making. Anyway, these accusations came up again, probably because of the financial tension that had been going on for everyone back then. If you don't remember, you weren't there...as they say.
I got good and pissed...I vented to my usual friends (many of whom may or may not consider me a friend anymore either because they are believing something that isn't true or because it is easier to drop me to keep their job) and I talked about my anger with most of the managers. They all understood my anger and spoke freely of the ridiculous nature of the ownership of my old employer. The comments deserve a whole posting (each) so let's leave that for later. I kicked and fussed and asked that my boss, his dumb-ass sister, and I have all of this out in the open and he continued to tell me to cool my jets and to get back to work...working for him ironically enough.
After a week or so, I was in such a knot that, after considering taking my full vacation and quitting my job, I said I was going away for a week. I said I'd been struggling with these accusations and that I was very unhappy at work and then I said I'd be back in a week and would have put it all away...never to piss and moan about it again. This is the real irony.
I got back from that trip and went to work the next day. I'd made the comment that I was afraid it was going to be a bad day (because of the work piled up while I was away). When I got out of the car, I was met by a couple of squad cars worth of cops and I was arrested. I'd spend the night in jail at the Martinez detention facility. It was, suffice it to say, a bad night and day following.
Fast forward to now. I don't want to quit my job. I don't want to take a vacation to get away from my employer's fucked up family business. Instead, I'm enjoying the reality of my first review since I started my new, sensible, job.
In my review I heard nothing but kind words. We talked about great things to come and exciting changes and developing and growing departments of the next year. We talked about me hiring...hrm. In short, we talked about a zillion and one things and they were all better than I could have begged for.
I remember back to the anger that made me take a week off at the drop of a hat at my old job. I remember how horrible it felt to feel betrayed by the people who owned the company where I had put so much of myself into work. I remember it all and I'm not really ever going to have the luxury of NOT remembering, especially the time in jail. I didn't do anything wrong and I have that knowledge to make it all something that I can parade in the light of day, but there are some bruises that aren't going away.
In remembering, I have my new job to contrast with the old reality. I can honestly say that I had no idea how bad it was until I got some distance. I can say that just about every "common sense" suggestion I made in contrast to the "family way" was dead on. My old company is the big loser in the end. I have had the pleasure of seeing what a real production department can do, when not faced with people dabbling and playing house or pretend.
But most of all...I have a vacation coming. I get some time off to enjoy doing whatever I want. Most of all, I want to spend the time with family and to remember the blessings I have thanks to something that happened, well, no particular time ago...
I'm set to go on vacation again. Last time I went on vacation I had one of the best times I have ever had on vacation. The kids were awesome, my vacation-mates were incredibly generous and fun to be with. It really was the kind of vacation that makes you come home and wish you'd stayed away.
Last time I went on vacation I went because my boss's sister (who was an owner in the company, but not my boss) had rekindled her paranoid state to accuse me of stealing from the company. This accusation had come before and my boss (her brother) had done whatever looking into things he needed to do to realize that the accusations were ridiculous. They were those sorts of accusations that only someone totally out of the loop could even imagine making. Anyway, these accusations came up again, probably because of the financial tension that had been going on for everyone back then. If you don't remember, you weren't there...as they say.
I got good and pissed...I vented to my usual friends (many of whom may or may not consider me a friend anymore either because they are believing something that isn't true or because it is easier to drop me to keep their job) and I talked about my anger with most of the managers. They all understood my anger and spoke freely of the ridiculous nature of the ownership of my old employer. The comments deserve a whole posting (each) so let's leave that for later. I kicked and fussed and asked that my boss, his dumb-ass sister, and I have all of this out in the open and he continued to tell me to cool my jets and to get back to work...working for him ironically enough.
After a week or so, I was in such a knot that, after considering taking my full vacation and quitting my job, I said I was going away for a week. I said I'd been struggling with these accusations and that I was very unhappy at work and then I said I'd be back in a week and would have put it all away...never to piss and moan about it again. This is the real irony.
I got back from that trip and went to work the next day. I'd made the comment that I was afraid it was going to be a bad day (because of the work piled up while I was away). When I got out of the car, I was met by a couple of squad cars worth of cops and I was arrested. I'd spend the night in jail at the Martinez detention facility. It was, suffice it to say, a bad night and day following.
Fast forward to now. I don't want to quit my job. I don't want to take a vacation to get away from my employer's fucked up family business. Instead, I'm enjoying the reality of my first review since I started my new, sensible, job.
In my review I heard nothing but kind words. We talked about great things to come and exciting changes and developing and growing departments of the next year. We talked about me hiring...hrm. In short, we talked about a zillion and one things and they were all better than I could have begged for.
I remember back to the anger that made me take a week off at the drop of a hat at my old job. I remember how horrible it felt to feel betrayed by the people who owned the company where I had put so much of myself into work. I remember it all and I'm not really ever going to have the luxury of NOT remembering, especially the time in jail. I didn't do anything wrong and I have that knowledge to make it all something that I can parade in the light of day, but there are some bruises that aren't going away.
In remembering, I have my new job to contrast with the old reality. I can honestly say that I had no idea how bad it was until I got some distance. I can say that just about every "common sense" suggestion I made in contrast to the "family way" was dead on. My old company is the big loser in the end. I have had the pleasure of seeing what a real production department can do, when not faced with people dabbling and playing house or pretend.
But most of all...I have a vacation coming. I get some time off to enjoy doing whatever I want. Most of all, I want to spend the time with family and to remember the blessings I have thanks to something that happened, well, no particular time ago...
Posted: Fri - January 21, 2005 at 05:31 PM